3. DOG EAT DOG




Guys think I'm easy, but I'm really not.

Don't get me wrong. I've screwed a lot of them. And before I'm done I'll probably screw a lot more. But that's not the point.

I do it because I need to get it over with. I mean, I really like men, and until we do it they're so nervous and in such a hurry, I just want to get it out of the way.

Now maybe that sounds weird, but consider. If you're trying to understand a man, and how he ticks, do you stand a better chance of him telling you his inner most thoughts before or after he's gotten laid?

Afterwards, you know, they are so relaxed, arms under their heads looking up at the ceiling, kind of day dreaming with you right there. They actually tell you what's on their mind afterwards, and you're included. They're even playful. Easy to talk to. It's the only time I can get inside a man, and see how he thinks.

I mean, I don't really like sex all that much. It can be pleasant and once in a while up lifting. But I'm one of those people who prefers to get the hard part out of the way first. Then I can enjoy myself.

Because I'm really curious about men. They're so different from us. Such weird creatures, hard bodies, hard pricks, all these feelings they're trying to hide, all these skills they're trying to master, so they can run the world or at least their little part of it.

And I'm definitely not complaining. If it weren't for sex I wouldn't have all these cute men friends.

But you got to do what you got to do in this life. I guess being a New Yorker has hardened me. You know, from the moment I was born almost, my Dad told me it was rough out there. "In this world its dog eat dog," he told me a hundred times, if he told me once.

At family parties the older women try to get me in the kitchen and tell me how it is. I guess they've heard all these stories. I mean I'm no fool. I always make sure guys use a rubber, and I check them out before we screw. If anything looks at all weird, I suddenly remember I got to be somewhere. So I know what I'm doing.

But the old women think I'm going to ruin my life. That I won't be able to find a nice young man and settle down later when I want to, and they tell me for certain that I'm going to want to. And I admit they may be right. But that's not the point.

I don't want to marry one guy I've known since high school and that's it. How fucking boring! I want to sample the whole range before I make my choice.


You know, the other night, after I laid this guy, he started asking me questions. Which surprised me because men usually talk about themselves. But anyway he rolls over after we've done it, and says, "What do you think about when I'm in you?" I mean just like that.

Well, no guy ever wanted to know before, and I guess I kept it to myself, but there is this thing I think about. And when I say, you'll probably decide I'm definitely looney.

I read in an article that 100 million people are fucking every day. Some quick math told me that about 200,000 people all around the world are doing it at any moment.

So I tell this guy. And I expect him to think I'm crazy, but he keeps asking, so I go on. When I enjoy sex the most, it's when I'm thinking about all those other people going at it the same time as us, kind of the rhythm of the human race you, might say. Corny, huh? And I feel a part of that, like we're all in this together.

And when he comes, sometimes I imagine I hear the 5000 others, who I figure must be moaning, gulping, letting go for a couple of seconds right then. And it's like music.

And then this man last night laughs, and looks into my eyes, and says, "I had the feeling you were somewhere else. But that's okay, what you say is kind of nice."

And you know, I really like this guy; he might just be the one.






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Last Modified : 4/20/98 2:41:50 AM